Dolly Varden, F.I.S.H.*
Dolly Varden was spawned in a cold water stream somewhere in Oregon, but before you could say “fish fry” she decided there was more to life than swimming upstream and avoiding lures. She made her way by covered aquarium to the glorious East, where, after a brief but defining affair with a Maine lobster, she set out to make her fortune.
Maybe one day Dolly will regale us with the stories of those rough and tumble years spent chasing flies and breaching the surface, but for now know this: she is a Pisces, a dreamer, a rebel with guts and a scaly hard exterior, but her insides are tender and pink and good with lemon. She founded the Order of the Trout to pay homage to fish everywhere, and we wait with baited breath to see where she swims to next.
The Order of the Trout is a sekrit society that anyone can join for ten clams. If you don’t have clams, then those green pieces of paper will do nicely.
Dolly’s retirement fund thanks you.
*First Imperial Superior High Trout
